Victim Impact Statement of “Victim C” who was sexually abused by Father Daniel Miller

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[The following is the Victim Impact Statement which was read to the court in a Pembroke, Ontario court by “Victim C” on 17 September 2013. When he was nine-years-old Victim C was sexually abused by Father Dan Miller ]

Victim Impact Statement 

As a young boy under the age of ten, there were certain things in life I just didn’t have the experience and knowledge to fully interpret and comprehend. Although I came from a broken family and was one of the youngest (5th of seven in age), I basically received the same parenting as my other siblings in what I considered to be a fairly normal and supportive upbringing, all things considered. My parents loved me, they protected me, and they fed and provided for me. That’s all I needed to know and understand.

My siblings and I were raised by Catholic standards, educated in the catholic school system and supported Catholicism both financially and spiritually for many years. Catholicism was deeply rooted within my family, especially on my mother’s side, namely the [redacted]. For example, my late grandmother, [redacted], was the organist for her beloved [redacted] Catholic church in [redacted], Ontario, for 69 years without missing a day. The church leaders, priests and nuns became extensions of her family; they were regular dinner quests at the [redacted] residence, they married my Aunts and Uncles, they provided spiritual and moral guidance during times of need and bereavement. In short they were well respected individuals; they were revered amongst leaders and were trusted community citizens of the highest order. These deep roots from my Mother’s upbringing found their way into my family life including my brothers and sisters and eventually converted Father.

As children in a Catholic upbringing, it was imperative to actively participate in all activities and formalities within the church from baptism, confirmation, weekly service, altar boys, choir, youth groups, marriage etc. If we weren’t participants in the weekly mass, it was our family unwritten rule to occupy one of the front two church pews on the right, which was pretty much the entire row. I might have been too young to fully comprehend all the symbolism and pageantry of the church service, however, I explicitly knew the Catholic Church was important to my family, and the priests wearing the colorful robes were part of my family. They were trusted as such unconditionally.

It’s not a simple task to articulate to the courts how this event has affected me and my family. To live through a repulsive experience is something that cannot be shared through the expression of words. This statement barely qualifies the shame it has put me through to come forward, words do not express the anger it has caused me and my family, words alone cannot erase the pain and suffering it has caused my parents, both of whom have questioned their parenting abilities in retrospect…they couldn’t protect their own children. All I can do is give my personal account as a young boy with the faith and hope of understanding and true justice.

I considered myself to be a typical nine year old, no different from other kids in the neighborhood. I enjoyed the company of my friends and siblings; we played together, we ate together, we argued and fought together and made amends together. This was pretty much our daily cycle. As a 9 year old, I didn’t have to make difficult decisions or even think about the things that adults thought of…nor did I want to. Although I was moving to an age where I probably thought I knew it all, I certainly did not have the full capacity to understand why such a trusted and supposedly Godly person would want to harm me in any way. I was fortunate enough to know right from wrong but didn’t understand the true gravity of the offence as an adolescent. The seriousness and ramifications of this offence became much more apparent to me as I entered my early teens. My belief at the time was that it only happened to me and therefore kept the secret to myself. I also learnt a great deal more about shame and fear and how these two responses alone drove my secret even deeper within. I didn’t fear the Catholic Church or priest or that I wouldn’t be believed. I mostly feared the outcome of telling my parents who were fiercely protective of me and my other siblings for that matter. It was also around the same time my folks were struggling with their marriage and absolutely did not want to give them any more grief. My only way out was to stay strong and silent and pretend that all was fine despite enduring many further visits from our parish priest who was also counseling my parents during difficult times. My secret remained and boiled within me for many years.

Another secret I held for many years was why I didn’t get married in the Catholic Church, especially if my wife and I were raised Catholics. I knew well before the thought of marriage there was absolutely no way mine (ours) was going to be administered by a Catholic priest. Oddly enough it never became a topic of conversation prior to our wedding as the presumption from family members and friends was that my wife was non-catholic. I dodged a bullet and my secret remained a bit longer! My mother was the first to learn the real reason and will never forget as long as I live the sadness and anger in her face and eyes as I revealed to her my account of what happened. Although I learned well after the fact, I’ll also never forget how she immediately went into “protective parent mode” and did what any parent should do; she confronted the perpetrator and the leaders of the Catholic Church. The response, especially from the Church Leaders, was deeply troubling for both my mother and I, as it revealed the true systemic nature of this problem; an organization more interested in protecting their own interests via denial, silence, bureaucracy, in- action and finger pointing the other way. As a result, the Catholic Church took enormous steps towards irrelevance for me.

I have a number of beliefs and life experiences that have shaped the person I’ve become today. Let me start by saying I have a strong belief in God and am thankful everyday for the blessings and good fortune I’ve received, however it wasn’t always so. My belief in God was severely challenged and questioned as I became older and more cognizant of the crime committed against me by someone my family and even the community adored and whole heartedly trusted. How and why would God let this happen to me if he is all loving and omnipresent? Why would the Catholic Church, who claims to be the vicar of God, allow the men of cloth to commit such crimes against me and as I learned later, other innocent children? The answer to these questions has been a journey to say the least however I’m not certain this journey always ends well emotionally. With time, good fellowship, support of my family and perhaps maturity, I’ve been able to overcome some of the issues and questions that have haunted me. More questions and concerns still remain to this very day. 

After many years of introspection and maturity, I’ve been able to come to certain understandings about myself and life in general. I truly believe we all have a higher purpose in life if we just make the effort to search it out and then live it. I do my best to live by the golden rule of treating everyone the way I would want to be treated. I also take full ownership of the person I’ve become, the choices I’ve made despite some misfortune and pain. In other words, I don’t blame anyone or anything for who I was, who I am and who I might become; I’m in control of my life. These basic values have served me well personally and professionally thus far. The impact of this event has challenged these values to the core!

I do, however, put 100% full accountability on the Catholic Church, its leaders and clergy for the abuse I was subject to and the pain and suffering it has caused my family. What I also feel is much worse than blame or accountability and should be of concern to this institution. As much as I’ve attempted to put this issue behind me and move forward, the Catholic Church and everything it stands for has become increasingly irrelevant to me, and I don’t think I’m alone. Let me state unequivocally, this statement alone has been extremely bitter for me and most notably my Mother, Aunts, Uncles and good friends, all of whom have put their complete faith in this institution and its leaders. I’m sure my grandparents are rolling around in their graves to hear this statement of resentment towards their beloved Catholic Church!

 Every time I read in the newspaper or hear on the news of innocent children being abused at the hands of “men of cloth,’ it just sickens me to the core. I don’t think this feeling will ever go away and is a perpetual and persistent reminder of my own abuse. In a recent interview with Peter Mansbridge from CBC’s National, a prominent Canadian Bishop stated in response to questions that abuse of innocent children is not just a Catholic problem but a human problem. What a relief for victims in knowing this and appeared to me as an attempt to minimize the systemic problems that exist within the Catholic Church! The extent of this abuse cannot be denied, silenced, or trivialized anymore. The deceit from the hands of people who claim to be ‘men of god’ is adding up each day unless drastic measures and actions are taken. It appears the Catholic Church has not been sufficiently motivated on their own to rid themselves of these abusers.

I appeal to the court to make a strong statement for all victims of abuse. I’m not going to pretend and say my life was in shambles because of this event, but I can promise you that my life changed forever on that one day. I can promise you my family and close friends have been deeply affected by this event. The entire Catholic institution has become increasingly irrelevant to me even though there are good God loving Catholic leaders out there. All I ask is that you (Court) do your best to imagine what it was like to me or any of the other direct victims of this type of abuse. I also ask that you imagine what it would be like to be the parent of a 9 year old who first learns that his/her child was abused by your community parish priest. Society and victims can no longer tolerate child abuse! The Catholic Church and its abusers need a strong message of deterrent and will put my trust in the legal system to do so.

In the bible, the Apostle Paul describes one of the churches during the latter days as being neither hot nor cold but rather lukewarm. In short, it is a church that is apathetic. The Lord is so dissatisfied with the church He declares, “Because you are lukewarm, and neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth” (Revelation 3:6)

In the end, I believe you will be judged appropriately.

“Dieu et mon droit,” God is my law.                        

36 Responses to Victim Impact Statement of “Victim C” who was sexually abused by Father Daniel Miller

  1. Sylvia says:

    The damage done by Father Daniel Miller.

    The child was nine-years-old!

    • Judy Hageman says:

      As an adult survivor of child sexual abuse by a relative, I simply want to express my total compassion and empathy for all brave and very worthy innocent adult and child survivors of clergy abuse that been committed by pernicious Christian and non-Christian religious authority figures. These inherently worthy individuals fully deserve to be both fully respected and taken seriously by all adherents and the religious of all world religions.Their legitimate cases of vile child sexual abuse must be fully taken seriously by all appropriate secular and religious institutions and all survivors fully deserve true and proper justice. Their despicable abusers must all be held fully accountable for their truly criminal acts against innocent children and they must also be arrested, tried and punished according to the law of the land.
      We human beings, in full cooperative partnership with other appropriate secular and religious institutions, must do everything in our joint power to totally eradicate all kinds of child sexual abuse so that no more innocent children will be abused by perverted pedophile perpetrators. It is all of our joint responsibility as human beings to make this a definite reality.

  2. Lina says:

    A courageous and clear impact statement by “Victim C” who was sexually abused by Father Daniel Miller

    “Victim C” words:
    “My mother was the first to learn the real reason and will never forget as long as I live the sadness and anger in her face and eyes as I revealed to her my account of what happened. Although I learned well after the fact, I’ll also never forget how she immediately went into “protective parent mode” and did what any parent should do; she confronted the perpetrator and the leaders of the Catholic Church. The response, especially from the Church Leaders, was deeply troubling for both my mother and I, as it revealed the true systemic nature of this problem; an organization more interested in protecting their own interests via denial, silence, bureaucracy, in- action and finger pointing the other way. As a result, the Catholic Church took enormous steps towards irrelevance for me.”

    Sadly many folks and myself included can surely relate and comprehend that above statement.

    I totally agree, the Catholic Church hasn’t done their best on their own to rid themselves of these abusers. They say they have but many convicted clergy are still not even defrocked and furthermore, many abusers are still protected and eventually many of those will be revealed in due time.

    These abuses perpetrated by the clergy and those who help cover them up will eventually see what’s coming to them.
    One cannot denied, silenced or trivialized these abuses anymore.

    “Victim C” you did good!

    Best wishes to you and all who support you.

    Lina

  3. Miecul says:

    The statement that stuck with me is that Miller was counselling his parents when he abused him. How sick is that. If it’s not sick, it’s definitely something. What’s for supper.

  4. Ceilidhe says:

    Victim C, my heart goes out to you and your family. No child should have to experience what you had to go through….and you were only nine. I agree, Dan Miller will be judged accordingly by God.
    God Bless you for coming forward and may you continue to heal.

  5. Eve says:

    How disgusting these priests are, creeping from house to house enjoying meals warm hospitality and unwavering respect all provided by their unsuspecting hostesses and hosts doing their utmost to welcome and entertain these devils who all the while are eyeing up their young children as future victims to gratify themselves with in the most disgusting manner possible, surely there is nothing more vile and cowardly then that.

    • PJ says:

      Yes there is…having that church defend their pervert collars, pleading innocent knowing very well what they did, knowing that dragging each case through the courts discourages victims. Bottom line, I hate them.

      • Eve says:

        I don’t blame you PJ, they are stunningly arrogant. The church is a haven for pedophiles I wouldn’t step in a Catholic Church if someone paid me.

        • 1 abandoned sheep says:

          Do we have another troll?

          • Eve says:

            A troll????

          • Eve says:

            What do you mean by,……another troll?

          • Lina says:

            Eve has a right to her own opinion. One cannot make someone go to church if they do not wish to.

            It’s not unusual these days for folks to have animosity against the Catholic Church.

            It’s better to stay away from the Catholic Church instead of being highly tempted to do something crass in Church.
            Which could get you in trouble with the law or in my case a free trip to the nearest mental health ward.

            Happy Thanksgiving to all!

          • PJ says:

            I avoid going to that church because of what it did to me…I see a collar and feel repulsed…I see nothing wrong with what Eve has written…I’m confused with why someone would suspect a troll?

          • Eve says:

            Sorry I don’t understand the question,Do we have another troll? Is it directed towards me? Not sure what it means is all, I just came here to talk about something that others have experienced and understand. Im just not sure if I want to open a can of worms I thought it would be safe to start in here.

  6. Bandson says:

    PJ.. &..All You who have suffered abuse at the hands of these evil “Men of God”..&..All of you family members who have suffered so terribly as your loved ones have suffered..&..To all of you who follow Sylvia’ Site..let me extend my best wishes and prayers for You & Yours to have a Thanksgiving of Peace & Love..Goodness Will Prevail!

  7. JG says:

    Eve,
    I don’t think you should be left hanging like this…My guess is that your comments about the church were misread by 1AS(above) who has said previously he is still a life long practicing catholic…and we have had two types of “trolls”, as he calls them; those who are intent on seeing the destruction of the church(Tanya, not so long ago as an example) and then the “masquerading” priests/supporters who try to discredit the victims by any means possible…
    If my memory is correct I would venture to say you have posted on this site before under different treads??!!…
    Anyway, if you are legit, don’t go away. We need all well intentioned contributors…
    The “others” become more easily identifiable through the inconsistencies. If you are going to be honest, don’t worry about a “can of worms”…Like you, we all worry about “the church” filled with snakes!!..
    By the way, 1 abandoned sheep is well intentioned and a great voice for the victims. He can speak for himself and my comment is just meant as a buffer?…. I wanted to help avoid unnecessary pain on this Thanksgiving weekend.
    You all have a good and happy one, with renewed Peace in your heart.
    jg

    • Eve says:

      I am not a troll, I have spoken to Sylvia on the phone,I am a 54 yr old woman who has suffered abuse I only ever comment under this name Eve,I am unsure of what I want to do open a can of worms or forget about it ,I’m very angry I just thought I could come in here it might help me make a decision.

      Thank you Jg for not leaving me hanging I thought my comments had offended in some way.

      • 1 abandoned sheep says:

        Eve, I was not trying to offend you.
        Some people in the past have wiggled their way into this site, only to beat up on the Catholic Church.
        The site is not about that.
        It deals with sexual abuse and other abuses by Catholic Priests.
        By no means does this mean the Catholic Church is full of, or has only bad Priests.
        Yes, I am a Catholic, and will be until the day I die.
        I knew some of the abusers, and a few who have been abused.
        But, if I get a hamburger at a Restaurant that is terrible, I do not blame the Restaurant Chain- I blame the jerk who made the hamburger!
        I have anger about some things, but, it is towards individuals, and some times that includes Bishops and Priests who have done wrong.

  8. JG says:

    Eve,
    No offense at all. Thank You for helping me confirm my memory is still sound! So I did remember you posting before. What you said about the church was very close to what many have felt and continue to deplore, yours truly included!
    If something needs to be said, I hope you will make the right decision. I and many others will be here to support you. Please try not to be angry at the well intentioned! Remember that, maybe as you were, many have been tricked before and are always on their guard…We are only trying to see through the fog, beyond the keyboards!
    You have probably come to the right place.
    Take care.

    jg

    • Eve says:

      I am not angry with anyone on this site,I meant I’m angry about what happened to me and how the church has dealt with abuse victims. I know we can’t paint everyone with the same brush the guilty parties have damaged the beauty of the catholic religion in many ways another one of the perpatrators and enablers sins. I did not come to argue or bash just to express my feelings.
      My sister and I were both abused by the same priest but she doesn’t want to dredge everything up,so therefore I’m not sure if I should on my own.

      Thank you Jg & abandoned sheep.

      • Sylvia says:

        Keep blogging Eve. Give yourself a chance to hear yourself think aloud. Say what you feel you need to say to get things off your chest, and in the process sort out what you believe you must or want to do. It will come.

        Don’t worry about talk of “trolls.” From time to time someone arrives with ulterior motives – it’s always a bit of shock when we all find out – another betrayal for so many who have already been betrayed so often. So, from time to time there is skepticism – all need to learn not to jump to conclusions lest a victim is hurt in the process. It’s a blogsite where emotions run high – we all learn together how to move on. The true “trolls’ eventually give themselves.

        As far as being Catholic is concerned, most who follow the site know that I am a practicing Catholic, however, they also know that I have no time for clerical sexual predators, or their enablers. None. The large majority of victims of clerical sexual abuse I know do not practice their faith, and most don’t want to darken the door of a Catholic Church. I wish that weren’t the case, but I understand it: it’s an unfortunate and sad reality. You are not alone.

        I firmly believe that some day we will have Church officials who truly understand the damage done when a child is sexually abused by a priest, and they will truly understand the added damage wrought by lies, deception, rationalizing, finger pointing and tolerance of priests who prey rather than pray. I believe too that those who do not understand will be gone. That day has to come, and I firmly believe will come, but, I’m not sure that I will be around to see it.

        I think it goes without saying that there can be no room in the Church for these wolves in sheep’s clothing, both the predators and their enablers. None.

        I frequently say that “they” (the predators) have hijacked our beloved Church. I believe that to the depth of my being.

        I pray for all of you at every Mass I attend. How could I not? And I pray for all of you every time I say my beads. How could I not? I beg God to reach out to each and every one of you and draw you close to His heart. And I ask our heavenly mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, who stood at the foot of the Cross, to intercede on your behalf.

        Anyway, the truth is that the large majority of those who blog on Sylvia’s Site are victims of clerical sexual abuse who do not darken the door of a Church. You are not alone Eve.

        All who blog – both those who are practising and those who are not – do what we can to help those, who, like you, are struggling. And we do what we can to get the truth out. And we do what we can to let every victim out there know that ‘you are not alone.’ We are all learning, with and from each other.

        Truth be told, for all the pain and suffering an anger, it’s often quite beautiful 🙂 Those silver linings in the dark clouds.

        Keep blogging Eve.

        .

        I say “unfortunate” because one of the things which bothers me deeply is the fact that Victims are allowed to vent here. From time to time I step in and call things to a halt, but I try to refrain from doing so.
        , but I think it’s

        • Lina says:

          Sylvia, you wrote:

          “I pray for all of you at every Mass I attend. How could I not? And I pray for all of you every time I say my beads. How could I not? I beg God to reach out to each and every one of you and draw you close to His heart. And I ask our heavenly mother, the Blessed Virgin Mary, who stood at the foot of the Cross, to intercede on your behalf.”

          I recall with happiness that I use to pray like you, Sylvia.

          The ease of praying in situations of quietness, praying on the move and even in noisiness.
          The beautiful Rosary of the Lady. There was even a time I learned to pray without having my rosary beads with me just in case my rosary was taken away from me because it was being banned.

          The great anticipation of receiving the body of Christ at Mass. The joy of receiving Jesus in that special moment in time and that unique help the Eucharist gave me.

          There is part me at times wish I was still in full communion with the Roman Catholic Church and it would be so easy to go back.

          If I did return to the Catholic Church that reality for me would be living as being lukewarm with large doses of indifference.
          To go back to church just because it looks good in front of other Catholics and to continue ignoring my conscience. I can’t live like that. I can’t pretend and fake it.

          True, there is no need for me to justify leaving the Catholic Church. When ask why I don’t go to church, I’m not rude or embarrass, I just say, I’m not in full communion with the Catholic Church it’s because of irreconcilable differences.

          “I believe and love JESUS.” That is important to me.

          Sylvia, I thank you for writing and posting such a touching and loving post.

          Lina

  9. PJ says:

    Eve:
    When you feel that you are ready to come forwarded, do so. your sister may not want to join you right away but you never know, she might later. That’s how it happened with me and my 2 brothers. We weren’t “ready” at the same time but we are all now working together to fight the injustices caused by the pervert collars and their supporters. You were brave enough to come forward on this site, here you will find you are not alone…we are many and continue to support each other and guess what? You’re now one of us…welcome…God bless you for having the courage to write here! I admire you for this, it shows courage. And although some of us remain catholic and defend the religion, I do not. I have left that church behind never to practice again for fear of being in the same room as a pervert collar. Not because of fear of them, just a fear of what could happen if I knew. Thank you Eve.

  10. JG says:

    To victim “C”…
    If you are reading any of this you are probably feeling your head spin and wondering where “you” have gone and are any of us getting what you have said to the Court… Sometimes we get sidetracked but you need to never forget the impact you are having. We are discovering “Eve” as the conversation evolves and she(and others, probably) are the “result” of your courage, for speaking out…Your freedom will be hers… theirs!
    You are becoming one of the “giants” at this time and we are only standing on your shoulders, if I can borrow that line…
    So, Victim C…thank you for your courage and for speaking out for “the children”… You are making a difference in many lives.
    You have been heard and are part of the “change”…

    ” I truly believe we all have a higher purpose in life if we just make the effort to search it out and then live it. I do my best to live by the golden rule of treating everyone the way I would want to be treated.”
    Never been so pleased to quote someone.
    Be well and Bless your family. You are healing yourself and others.
    jg

  11. Eve says:

    Thank you all for your kind words and encouragement, not to worry I will keep blogging
    I don’t offend easily was just confused. I have been reading this site for almost a year now.The priest who abused me is literally surrounded by convicted pedophiles he has gone to school with them worked with them it’s like a web. I’ve enjoyed reading all of your beautifully written words of support to each other, and your disagreements with others all very insightful. It’s nice to know I’m not alone although in a way I wish I was, I’m so sorry you have suffered it’s hard to explain to others what a horrible damaging experience it is to go through. Thank you for listening.

  12. Leona says:

    Eve,
    I feel so similar to you when you say “It’s nice to know I’m not alone although in a way I wish I was”. I’ve met so many amazingly courageous, strong, committed and caring people through our shared experiences of being clergy abuse survivors. Wouldn’t it be a better world if we were lone members of the club!
    I was surprised the other day, when speaking with another survivor who had never thought that priests abused girls. It’s amazing the stories people tell themselves in order to make sense of the senseless acts of priests and the church.
    Thanks for sharing your voice hear as a female survivor!

  13. Eve says:

    Thank you all for making me feel so welcome, your written words are so comforting.
    I’m not very good at writing but I will do my best to express myself .

    I feel that I should report the abuse I suffered for many different reasons, I have always done my best not to let the sexual abuse I experienced as a child effect my adult life. I have always set it aside and don’t speak of it often I’ve always felt that my perpatrators have taken up enough of my life and I had no intention of letting them ruin the rest of it.
    In other words F them to but it bluntly, BUT I must be honest these kinds of experiences effect you wether you like it or not,I would say what suffered the worst was my self esteem, my schooling, my ability to make friends because I felt different these are all things I did my best to overcome as I got older but one can never regain their innocence, I will never know what person I might have been or what I might have accomplished academically and personally as a child growing up without abuse that opportunity was callously and selfishly taken away from me. I have always tried not to dwell on those things, until I found this site and I started researching what sexual abuse at a young age does to a person and yes I can see I have suffered in my life and struggled because of my abuse it has taken a lot away from me. The priest who abused me is not the only abuse that was in my life, his abuse started when I was about 12. My uncle my mothers brother started abusing me when I was 5yrs old I remember my very first day of abuse, it was just a few days before my birthday because my uncle told me if I was a good girl and nice to him he would give me one of his boxer’s puppies for my 5th birthday . My uncles abuse lasted until I was 14 it included everything he didn’t attempt intercourse until I got older but I was too small and he never actually was able to because I think he was afraid of hurting me and hence someone finding out. Also by the time I was 12 I started to get clever and find ways to avoid him refuse going on trips with him etc. But unfortunately avoiding him wasn’t always possible. My uncle came by his sickness honestly his father was also a pedophile my mother’s father . I never really spent a lot of time around my grandfather until I was 8 he lived far away , then unfortunately he moved close by , he was so much fun when I first met him always joking around he was an alcoholic but he was a funny drunk funny until he started to molest me between 8 to 9 yrs old his abuse was mostly fondling ,me fondling him mostly (if I sound callous as I write it’s because I find it easier to write this without emotion or I’ll turn into a blithering balling blob and won’t be able to type) His abuse stopped when I was 12, fortunately for me cancer ate out his stomach from incessant drinking , and he died a painful death, my mother looked after him at our house while he was gravely ill we had a hospital bed in our dining room for him.I did my very best to avoid going over to that bed he use to try to get me to fondle him even on his death bed but most of the time I could avoid him. My darling sister suffered the same abuse. We never told my mother about her father until we were adults I told her about my uncle when I was 14 she never went to police but he was never alone with me again. Msgr {redacted] abused both my sister and I between the ages of 11 and 12 . He use to come over to our house on special occasions birthdays Xmas parties etc.He started with hugs that included trying to squeeze your breasts on the side without anyone noticing,at times I’m sure I heard my bones crack, I say breasts I should say my child chest I didn’t have any breasts to speak of , he was always trying to get us to sit on his knee after a few times of sitting on [redacted] knee I tried to avoid such a situation he was very bold many times my mother was just in the kitchen and in the living room he would grab my arm to make me sit on his knee and suffer through his fondling and churning under my lap in excitement until he had an accident and would jump up almost throwing me on the floor and running out the front door before my mother could see his pants, I showed my sister my pants they were all wet on the back sadly she knew what it was even sadder so did I , how do you tell an adult such a bizarre story about a priest it sounds bizarre as I write it but that is exactly what he use to do. My sister and I did the best we could to support each other through those years God bless my sister I don’t think I would have survived without her. I have much more to say but I’m tired now and it always makes me sad when I think of how much my sister suffered well into adulthood many things she found so hard to come to terms with.

    I’m so glad I found this site most people don’t know about my abuse,this site has helped me a lot .

    • Miecul says:

      Thank you for sharing that Eve. As painful as it is, it’s good to get this off your chest.

      I found this site very helpful if only realizing that I’m not alone. I can’t begin to tell you how shocked I was when I found this site in finding out just how many pedophiles priest we have in our church. I know there’s more good than bad, but the numbers are troubling.

      It’s not the priests who will be able to make this go away, just like any worker inside a company changing policy. This is the job of the CEO, President, Dictator, Pope. This is their job and no one else. It’s irresponsible to let this go on and do nothing. Will they get into heaven knowing there was something they could have done to protect Christ’s most important creature. It’s not me who has to answer that question when I stand in front of him, nor would I want to. God help any of them who could have spoken up or done something to prevent one child from being molested, period.

      • Eve says:

        Yes your right it has to come from the top,but why hasn’t
        that happened? Will it ever maybe someday people have to stop putting preists and bishops and the pope on a pedestal, they are just MEN!!!! Human beings no better then you or I and when they commit such acts they are no better then animals and the people who protect these animals are even worse.

    • Sylvia says:

      Eve, I removed the name of the priest. I know you want people to know but for legal reasons best you not mention his name on the site until and if decide to go to police. Stay strong. Keep a clear head. Know that if you decide to go to police there will many people out here who are with you in thought and prayer.

  14. Baspuits says:

    Thank you very much……………..I need to read…………what I can not or know how to write………..which is greatly needed these days…………again, thank you

    • Eve says:

      When those memories are sitting in a box in your mind stored in the archives full of cobwebs it doesn’t bother you as much, but when you talk about it or see it written down then it is real again………I felt physically ill and depressed for 3 days after writing all that down, I feel better when I leave it in the box if that makes any sense or if it’s a good thing I’m not sure.

  15. JG says:

    Eve,
    Sorry I didn’t reply earlier as I thought I would when we had an exchange with “Mary”, just the week before I think…
    Anyway, “the box” makes perfect sense for everyone, for the questions which don’t seem to have an answer at a certain time because we don’t have all the information or the skills to solve the riddle…
    That is where I saw you the first time…I was also rummaging through that “question box”…
    It takes time. I have also put it away for now.
    Cheers! 🙂

    jg

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