A wonderful and lengthy chat

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Well, I just had a wonderful and lengthy chat with Geraldine Mahoney, a lovely and brave lady, nurse and loyal wife who was married to former Ontario Provincial Police Officer  Patrick Maloney. Pat died in 2008.

As you will see when clicking on the link below, Pat was sexually abused as a young boy by Father Henry Maloney.  I believe what Geraldine has to say speaks for itself:

July 2016:  A brave wife speaks out: Former OPP officer endured childhood sexual abuse at hands of Father Henry Maloney

Yes, Pat, like most if not all victims, was tormented by the abuse, and, yes, he had his rough times, but Geraldine loved him dearly and stood by him to the end.   Pat died January 2008 at the age of 54,  only eleven short months after he was diagnosed with cancer.

As you see, Pat began to tell  Geraldine about the abuse while they were dating.  He told her more over the first three years of their marriage.   They talked about it from time to time throughout the 30 plus years of their marriage, but, Pat never wanted to report it, and when Geraldine tried to urge him to do so, he would reply: “No, leave it be. The old bastard will get his when he dies.”  She now ponders if she should have perhaps pressed harder.  She just doesn’t know.

Note that Geraldine talks about a very young Pat driving Father Henry about .  I specifically checked on that.  Yes, according to Geraldine, the boy indeed  did drive the priest around, most trips averaging about an hour each way, – and, yes, the boy was behind the wheel chauffeuring the priest about at the tender age of 12, the abuse began the same year.

As we talked I realized that Geraldine has no doubt that there are victims of Father Maloney out there, each haunted by the abuse, tormented by the memories and battling a shame which rightly belongs to Maloney and his enablers.   From what I hear via other grapevines, she is probably right. Keep them in your prayers.

By the way, for those who wonder, the sexual abuse of Pat Mahoney preceded that of Mike Fitzgerald.  And, yes, for those who wonder, Geraldine has been in contact with Mike Fitzgerald.  As soon as she read that Mike had been sexually abused by Father Maloney Geraldine wanted to talk to him.  I believe that contact has meant a lot to both of them.

So, Thank you Geraldine for sharing a little part of  a life which was tinged with pain and difficult times, but, as I learned so well in talking to you, marked by your deep love for Pat.  My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

In closing I want to let readers know that during his hospitalization  Pat, who, like most victims of clerical sexual abuse had little to do with the Church,  received Holy Communion regularly and was visited by a priest several times.

I pray that Pat’s dear soul, through the mercy of God,  is now at peace.

On that note, I close off as I always do, with

Enough for now.

Sylvia

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11 Responses to A wonderful and lengthy chat

  1. Mike says:

    I can verify Geraldine’s statement regarding Pat’s sexual abuse. I worked with Pat in Sudbury, in fact I trained Pat. We became very close and spent quite a few hours together in a police car. Pat and I trusted each other and were like brothers. We shared numerous stories about our families, growing up in a Catholic household, being altar boys and the abuse we experienced at the hands of Father Maloney and Father O’Donnell.

    Our parents were very active in the Catholic Church and we both were raised (brainwashed) that the priest is the closest thing to God so we wouldn’t dare say anything to anybody about our abuse. That’s just the “way it was.”

    I have experienced shame and guilt not just because of what happened to me, but the fact I didn’t say anything when I was an adult and a police officer. I’m not suppose to be afraid. Remaining silent all those years has killed me inside. Nothing would take my feelings of anger, depression, guilt and shame, nightmares and flashbacks except alcohol. I didn’t know it but I was an alcoholic (still am). I would find people to be with in order to drink and Pat was one of them. It was hell for my ex-wife and my two daughters and I am ashamed I was not the husband and father I should have been. I am regretting it to this day and it will never leave me. I know I have to forgive myself first in order to move on but like all victims, we have trouble doing that.

    It wasn’t until I stopped drinking that I realized what depression and anxiety was. I still have depression, anxiety, despair and bouts of anger but I haven’t gone to alcohol to push those feelings down. I did not experience anger when I drank and I convinced myself that I did not have a drinking problem because of of that reason.

    I purposely did not give any details of what Pat shared with me. It’s already out there so there is no need for me to provide the details.

    My apologies for any grammatical or spelling mistakes. I didn’t want to go back and read this.

    • 1 abandoned sheep says:

      Mike, I have been in AA for just over 34 years, and know a lot about loads of regrets, shame and depression. I even contemplated writing a book with the title *A Mountain called regrets* detailing some of the memories- but, I did not do that.
      I have met many people in AA who were sexually abused, and were themselves abusers later.
      That moment in life, when we stood at a turning point, is a great recollection to have- keeping me from ever returning to the oblivion of an active, drinking alcoholic. I pray for you every day.

    • Sylvia says:

      Thank you for sharing that Mike. I am sure Geraldine will be moved.

      And good for you for finding the courage to speak up now 🙂

      My thoughts and prayers are with you

    • Derek LaPointe says:

      Hello Mike
      This is Derek LaPointe. I have been blessed to be sober now for close to 22 years. What I went thru at the hands of Charles Picot has not destroyed me although there have been many dark times.
      The level of shame and guilt I feel for my past is very manageable today. I know I am forgiven by God so it is much easier to accept my past. I was not a good husband or father. I was good at pouring alcohol down my throat.
      I KNOW in my heart that God Don’t Make Junk!!The same applies to you and others.

  2. Mike Fitzgerald says:

    Mike – Thank you also for having the courage to tell your story publicly. I am sure you did a lot of soul-searching before deciding to let it out!
    Please do not beat yourself up over this – you didn’t do anything wrong!
    You, and I , and Paddy (among many others on Sylvia’s Site) were reared in the catholic church in a different time and under different circumstances than we see now. In those days one did not speak out against the local parish priest. He was GOD!!! We knew even at a young age if we spoke out, we would be branded liars and ostracized, even by our own families. Priests like Maloney relied on our shame and fear, to further their own deviant sexual urges.
    I stay in touch with Geraldine, and it’s my hope that you can too. Geraldine was a tremendous source of comfort and encouragement to me when my story came out, and she deserves all the support and comfort we can give her now.
    I am curious about the other priest’s name that you mentioned (O’Donnell). I haven’t heard of him before.
    Guilt, shame, and fear are the “tools of the trade”, and I understand only too well what you are going through right now. You made a comment that “this will never leave me” and that breaks my heart. You can rise above it – please don’t let the demons of the past control you. You deserve better!!!!!!!!! Mike.

  3. Larry green says:

    Mike Fitzgerlald, can you confirm that you did receive my response? I tend to have a lot of trouble with that system,for some reason and never really know what actually goes out and what does not.

  4. Mike Fitzgerald says:

    Yes I did Larry, with many thanks. I have been holding off responding to you because of a lack of information on the subject matter.
    It all seems to be a big dark secret, but I will be in touch.
    Again, thank you so much. You are very encouraging and I appreciate it. Mike.

  5. Larry Green says:

    Your welcome Mike.

  6. Geraldine Mahoney says:

    It is nice that others understand. I can’t keep the secret anymore. It’s a lie, if you hold back and not speak up. May everyone affected by sexual abuse by a priest find peace and know if it’s 10 days or 50 years it’s never too late. Peace and love. Ger

  7. Mike says:

    Right on Ger. It’s a great relief to know that you’re not alone.

  8. Mike says:

    Derek
    Thanks for the encouraging remarks. Like I said we all have something in common and we are not alone. That helps very much.
    Mike

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