Many abuse victims still keeping mum

Cornwall Standard Freeholder

23 February 2008

Posted By Kevin Lajoie

The meeting was advertised as "The Visioning Day" and was meant to give abuse survivors and supporters a venue to discuss ways the community can move forward and heal.

But when only a little more than a dozen people showed up for the gathering, the focus shifted to another question - why aren't more people getting involved?

What followed was a mini-exercise in healing and reconciliation.

With the help of mediators, the group first tried to answer the question of why more survivors didn't attend the meeting.

The brainstorming session yielded a slew of reasons.

Some were straightforward: people may have been working and unable to attend, they may not have heard about the meeting or they might not be ready to go public with their experience.

Other reasons carried a deeper undertone - fear of punishment, anger, alienation, broken trust and a perception that the victims "are the inquiry."

The group then turned its attention to the question of how to get more survivors involved and begin the healing process.

The ideas ranged from holding "positive events" to help survivors connect with each other to setting up an anonymous phone line, erecting a monument honouring victims of abuse and building a botanical garden that could serve as a safehouse.

The bottom line was the survivors have to step forward and take the lead in the healing process, and the message seemed to hit home.

"We need to be the leaders. We don't need to leave it to the inquiry. Everyone in the community has a part to play," said Gaile Hynes, a survivor.

Hynes said Thursday's meeting at the Ramada Inn had an empowering effect on those who participated.

"We had people hearing, not just listening. We had people speaking from the heart, not just their head," she said.

Citizens for Community Renewal president Paul Scott said the end goal is to find solutions, and the meeting appeared to mark a step in that direction.

While some may think of it as taking a critical view of the community, Scott believes it's just the opposite.

"This is community building," he said.

Hynes is equally optimistic of the process, and she believes the key now is to get more people involved.

"As long as there's hope, it's still possible to have healing and reconciliation," she said.

The group plans on meeting monthly for at least the next six months, and the hope is more people will join them.

The key, Hynes said, is to get them out from under the chaos and help them realize there is hope.

klajoie@standard-freeholder.com