Man dissolves in tears as memories return

Cornwall Standard Freeholder
Terri Saunders

Thursday, December 14, 2006 - 10:00

Local News - Within minutes of taking the stand Wednesday at the Cornwall Public Inquiry, a man who says he was sexually abused by a city priest broke down in tears.

John MacDonald was answering questions about a letter he wrote in 1995 in which he publicly disclosed the alleged abuse for the first time.

The letter was written to Rev. Kevin Maloney of St. Columban's Church, and in it MacDonald named Rev. Charles MacDonald as his alleged abuser.

The letter, which was entered into evidence at the inquiry, brought back memories which MacDonald felt difficult to discuss. One part of the letter suggests he may have told his parents about the abuse but Wednesday he said he knows that wasn't the case.

"I've convinced myself over the years, for my own protection, that I spoke to my parents about this," said MacDonald, his voice cracking and tears in his eyes. "I suspect something also happened to an older brother of mine and if my parents knew about that I have to question why I would be put in harm's way."

MacDonald, 48, said he was raised in the Catholic faith and becoming an altar boy was a natural progression of that faith for him.

"I have big ears from being dragged to church on Sundays," he said.

MacDonald said he began serving as an altar boy when he was 10 years old and he says it was soon after this he was first abused by Rev. Charles MacDonald. The details of the allegations are under a publication ban.

Rev. Charles MacDonald was charged by the Ontario Provincial Police's Project Truth team in 1996 with a number of sex-related crimes involving young boys in the Cornwall area. In 2002, those charges were stayed when a judge determined it had taken too long to bring the matter to trial.

In the time between the laying of charges and the stay ruling, John MacDonald and other alleged victims gave multiple statements to police and took part in preliminary hearings related to the charges. In a statement John MacDonald gave to police about a month after he wrote the letter to Maloney, he talked about how at first, he was impressed by Rev. Charles MacDonald and appreciated having him as a trusted confidante.

"If things seemed to be bothering me he would always be there with a comforting touch, a rub on the shoulders, a pat on the back or taps on the leg as we sat and talked, what at the time seemed very innocent, very warm, very caring," MacDonald told police. "What this led to is something very sinister, very cold and very scary."

MacDonald said he remembered a time when he and other altar boys went with Rev. Charles MacDonald on a weekend retreat just north of Cornwall.

"The weekend was to be held in St. Andrews at the school and we would sleep over at the old nuns' residence near the school," MacDonald said in his statement. "I don't remember what we did in the school on that Saturday. What has been burned into my memory and what I've wasted years trying to forget is what started happening that Saturday night."

It's on this retreat MacDonald alleges he was first sexually abused by the priest. He went on to talk about two other incidents which occurred on separate occasions - one at the home of Bishop Adolphe Proulx in Alexandria and another in Rev. Charles MacDonald's car.

Following the incident at the bishop's residence, MacDonald told police he was so scared he hid in a closet.

"I stayed hidden in the closet the rest of the night, my knees pulled up to my chest, crouched in the corner," MacDonald said. "I felt dirty, worthless, guilty and ashamed."

MacDonald said the abuse sent him on a downward spiral that lasted many years.

He quit high school, had trouble keeping a job and his first marriage ultimately failed due to his alcohol addiction, a loss that was compounded by an estrangement from the rest of his family including his parents, his brothers and his sisters.

"I felt that not only was I again robbed of not being close to them, but that they were being robbed of being close to me because I wouldn't let them near me," said MacDonald. "I kept people at bay by telling them lies.

"If I told them lies I could keep the truth to myself."

In the letter he wrote to Maloney, MacDonald said he couldn't tell his parents about the abuse he suffered because he knew it would affect their faith.

"I wish that I could talk to my parents again about what happened to their son but I don't want my father's faith shaken," he wrote. "He is not a young man anymore and he is at church every morning because he feels that it is something that he needs."

In asking for something to be done about the alleged abuse, MacDonald pleaded with Maloney to take action.

"I've been running from facing this for 25 years," he wrote, "and it is time that the running stops."