Terri Saunders

Thursday, June 07, 2007 - 08:00

Local News - Jeanette Antoine's eyes filled with tears as she listened to words spoken Wednesday she almost never heard during her troubled childhood.

"You were loved," Peggy Seguin told the now-adult woman. "There were people who cared about you."

Seguin, a former member of the Children's Aid Society board of directors and a member of Citizens for Community Renewal, sat with Antoine on a short stone wall outside the Cornwall Public Inquiry Wednesday afternoon.

As she rubbed Antoine's back and gently pushed the woman's hair away from her round, cherubic face, Seguin made a simple request.

"Will you write to me?" asked Seguin, tears welling in her own eyes. "Will you let me know how you're doing?"

"Yes," said Antoine, her soft voice barely audible. "I will."

Antoine's story of a childhood filled with alleged physical, sexual and emotional abuse at times brought a hush over the hearings being held at The Weave Shed in a building once used to house a cotton mill.

In much the same way as the mill building has seen a rebirth in recent years due to renovations and the fact several community agencies and businesses have found a home there, Antoine's time at the inquiry has served as something of a transition from a time when she was in pain to a time when she can heal.

Antoine, who is now a 46-year-old mother of three living in Edmonton, told the inquiry she was abused by her biological father as well as foster parents and CAS caseworkers on countless occasions during the more than 11 years she spent in care.

"I never had a home to call home," Antoine said. "Do you know what it's like not to be wanted? I never belonged. Nobody wanted me."

During her encounter with Seguin Wednesday afternoon, Antoine heard there were people who wanted her and who were looking out for her.

"It's good to hear," said Antoine. "I never felt that during my childhood."

But this week's meeting between the two women was not the first time they were in each other's company. In 1976, Antoine and group of other Crown wards ran away from a CAS-run group home on Second Street West.

When the society's volunteer board of directors heard the kids had bolted from the home, they began asking why and that's when they met with the kids to hear their stories.

"We wanted to meet with them one-on-one without any of the caseworkers around," said Seguin. "We needed to hear from them what was going on at that house."

Seguin said she remembers Antoine and another home resident spent some time at Seguin's house, having dinner and spending time with the family.

"She (Antoine) helped me cook dinner and she played with my kids," said Seguin. "I remember she was quiet, but she was very sweet. I told her then I wouldn't have minded if she stayed with me for a few days."

Antoine likely wouldn't have minded that either. While she lived at the house, the supervisor, a man by the name of Rod Rabey, passed away after suffering a heart attack and other workers were brought in to take over care of the children.

While corporal punishment was not a crime in those days, it was eventually determined the discipline being doled at the home was excessive and inappropriate. The workers were ultimately fired and the home was eventually closed after the kids were assigned to new caregivers.

Near the end of her testimony Wednesday, Antoine was asked if she recognized Seguin, who was sitting in the public gallery at the inquiry.

Although Antoine said she wasn't entirely certain who Seguin was, she felt she knew the woman on some level.

When her testimony was complete, the two women walked outside and sat together in the shade of a large tree. Seguin reminded Antoine about their earlier encounters so many years ago and commended her for having the courage to come forward, both then and now, about the abuse she and others had endured.

"It was because of you that we closed that place," Seguin told Antoine.

"You were such a brave girl."

Antoine said she's faced criticism from some members of her extended family for testifying at the inquiry, but she felt compelled to tell her story.

"If I can save just one child from having to go through what I went through, it's worth it," she said. "Our children are the most precious things in this world and they shouldn't be abused."

Antoine said although she felt scared about taking the witness stand at a public inquiry, she considers the experience the start of the next phase of her life.

"It's going to help me heal," she said. "When I go home, I'm going to get counselling and it will be the start of closure for me."

As for Seguin, she's pleased she had the opportunity to let Antoine know there were people who cared about her during her childhood even if she didn't know it at the time.

"I remember when I presented the report to the board about what was going on at that house, people were crying," said Seguin. "We knew the house had to close. The children who were there did nothing to deserve what they had to endure. They just wanted a home and it's sad many of them feel as if they never had one."